I'm going "home" tonight to Mississippi. The funny thing is, I've never been to Mississippi, yet it's considered home because it's America and my husband-to-be is from Mississippi. I'll be "home" in Alaska, but I haven't lived in Alaska in 14 years, and aside from my family, only know one friend who still lives in the ol' home town. For Will and me, Kenya is home right now - it's where we met, where we live, where out friends are. We've never been to America together, but that is "home" also. Home is a very confusing word.
When thinking about going "home" to America, I get excited about seeing everyone, meeting new family face-to-face instead of on a computer screen, eating bagels and cream cheese, seeing Christmas lights on all the houses. These things are very exciting! I'm itching to get on that plane! Been jumping around the house all week. Counting down! I can't wait!
At the same time, I don't fit in America in some ways. I drive on the opposite side of the road now. I hear myriad languages every day. Children beg at my car window while stopped at an intersection. I drive like a maniac and use my car horn more than my turn-signal, which isn't called a turn-signal here - it's an indicator. Kenya changes people. I'm a different person because of Kenya. I view the world differently. I speak differently. Being "on time" means something different to me. I have different experiences that no one back home understands. I am surrounded by people in Kenya who understand all this, but at home people cannot relate (as much as my dear family is trying). That's the scary part of going home - people expecting me to be the same Kimberly, but I'm not. Going from the Third World to America the Beautiful is always a little unsettling. But it's more exciting than unsettling, so AMERICA HERE I COME!
Hope I packed enough clothes...I get cold just looking at this picture!
I hope you have a wonderful vacation with family and friends--new and old. How exciting! Be sure to bundle up warm! Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to those that love you. Know that you will enjoy your time here. You and Will are held closely in my heart.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas and a wonderful 2010.
Dear Kim, The feelings and emotions you guys are experiencing are so understandable to those that have lived overseas. Being a missionary kid...I totally understand the confusion of what is home. Even though I've in the States for equal time as I did overseas...I still feel like HK is home and yet when I go back to visit I realize that HK is not my " home" anymore. So in saying all that...I get it because I'm still experiencing those conflicting emotions. Have a wonderful time and Merry Christmas! Blessings my friend, Janice
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